A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after
Every 10 sec a
woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
Graveyard
Flash news: A 2 seater plane crashed in a graveyard in
punjab . Local
sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still
digging for more..
punjab . Local
sardars have so far found 500 bodies and are still
digging for more..
Writing
Sardar was writing something very slowly.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read
very fast.
Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly?
Sardar: "I'm writing to my 6 yr old son, he can't read
very fast.
Modern Art
Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible
looking thing is
what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
looking thing is
what you call modern art ?
Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!
Last Wish !!!!
Sardar's wish :when i die,i wana die like my grandpa who died
peacefully in his sleep not screamin like all the
passengers in the car he was driving..
peacefully in his sleep not screamin like all the
passengers in the car he was driving..
Post Delivery
Postman:- I Have To Come 5 Miles To Deliver U This Packet
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have
posted it....
Sardar:- why did u come so far. Instead u could have
posted it....
Lottery
Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer
gave 11cr after
deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else
return my 20 Rs back.!
gave 11cr after
deducting tax. Angry Sardar: "Give me 20 cr or else
return my 20 Rs back.!
Salary Expected
Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He
was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!
was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".
After much thought he wrote : Yes!
Father !!!!!
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)
Sunny:As old as I am.
Teacher:How is it possible?
Sunny:He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)
Coincidence !!!!!!
Teacher:"Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence? "
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."
Johnny:"Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time."
Brotherly LOVE
Teacher : Now children , if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing ?
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE
Student : BROTHERLY LOVE
Maths !!!!!!!
Question:What is the fullform of maths.
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
Gandhiji
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.
Student:Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.
PM not AM
man asked his wife why Tony goes walking in the Evening and not
in the morning wife replied Tony is PM not AM
in the morning wife replied Tony is PM not AM
Water the Plants...
Man told his servant: "Go and water the plants!"
Servant: "It's already raining."
Man : "So what? Take an umbrella and go."
Servant: "It's already raining."
Man : "So what? Take an umbrella and go."
Future Tense !!!
Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense
Student : The future tense is "u will go to jail"
Student : The future tense is "u will go to jail"
Winning the Cup !!!
Man: Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Man - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Man - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
Bar and Cell Phone !!!
A man in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"
Says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"
Weather Forecast
Once a man was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would
be hot.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would
be hot.
Bean in School !!!!!
How do you recognize Bean in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board
Parking Fine !!!!
A man comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine"
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole "Thanks for complement."
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole "Thanks for complement."
TV News
A man complained to the police: "Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house."
Police: "How the thief did not take TV?"
Man: "I was watching TV news..."
except the TV in my house."
Police: "How the thief did not take TV?"
Man: "I was watching TV news..."
Oh God
Husband : People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife: How do you know??
Husband : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.
Wife: How do you know??
Husband : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.
Remarry !!!
Husband: If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Husband : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Husband : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
Dreams
Man: Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Man : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Man : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
My Son
Man : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Man: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Man: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
New Mobile
A Man bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
"My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610"
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
"My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610"
Station !!!!!
A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say....
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station....
what more can I say....
Y Learn !!!
The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.
Succesfull man
Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Poor Man
If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.
Contractor
Three contractors . . . one from India , another from Germany and the third from England are bidding to repair the White House fence. A senior White House official takes them to examine it.
The English contractor : takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works on some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says. "I figure the job will cost $900 . . . $400 for materials, $400 for labour and $100 profit for me."
The German contractor : also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700 . . . $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Indian contractor doesn't measure or do any figuring, but leans over to the White House official and whispers: "$2,700."
The official incredulously says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
"Easy," the Indian explains, "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire the guy from Germany to do the work!"
Guess who got the contract.... ......... ......... ..!!
******
The English contractor : takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works on some figures with a pencil. "Well," he says. "I figure the job will cost $900 . . . $400 for materials, $400 for labour and $100 profit for me."
The German contractor : also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700 . . . $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me."
The Indian contractor doesn't measure or do any figuring, but leans over to the White House official and whispers: "$2,700."
The official incredulously says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"
"Easy," the Indian explains, "$1,000 for you, $1,000 for me and we hire the guy from Germany to do the work!"
Guess who got the contract.... ......... ......... ..!!
******
Don't use mobile inside Toilet
was barely sitting down when i heard a vioce from the other stall saying : "Hi, how are you?"
I'm not the type to start a conversation in the men's restroom But i don't know what got into me, so i answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin just fine!"
And the other guy says: "So what are you up to?"
What kind of quesion is that? At that point, I'm thinking this is too bizarre so i say: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just travelling!"
At this point im just trying to get out as fast as i can when i hear i hear another question. "Can I come over?"
Ok, this question is just too weird for me but i figured i could just be polite and end the conversation. i tell him, "No....... I'm a little busy right now!!!"
Then i hear guy say nervously... .
Listen. i'll have to call you back. There's is an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!!!"
Oil
Santa starts shouting in a store...... where is my free gift with this
oil?
Shopkeeper : there is nothing free with this
Santa: it is written CHOLESTROL FREE
oil?
Shopkeeper : there is nothing free with this
Santa: it is written CHOLESTROL FREE
Imagination
INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room , how can you escape if it caught fire?
Santa: Simple, stop imagining
Santa: Simple, stop imagining
Toys
Boy: mom, today my friend is coming over, please hide all the toys
Mom: Why, son? Is your friend a robber.
Boy: No. He will recognize his toys
Mom: Why, son? Is your friend a robber.
Boy: No. He will recognize his toys
Son and Dad
Dad to son: when I beat you how do you control your anger?
Son: I start cleaning toilet
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Son: I clean it with your toothbrush
Son: I start cleaning toilet
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Son: I clean it with your toothbrush
Santa and Windows !!!
Santa to salesman : I want a pink curtain for my computer screen.
Salesman: But sir computers dont need curtains.
Santa: Hello.. I got 'Windows' !!
Salesman: But sir computers dont need curtains.
Santa: Hello.. I got 'Windows' !!
Santaa...
1. Santa on cycle hit lady accidently, lady says break nahi mar sakta tha?
Santa : Poori cycle to mar di...ab break alag se maroon kya?
2. Santa standing below a tube light with an open mouth.... WHY?
Because his doctor advised him, aaj light hi khana!!
Santa : Poori cycle to mar di...ab break alag se maroon kya?
2. Santa standing below a tube light with an open mouth.... WHY?
Because his doctor advised him, aaj light hi khana!!
Osama and Amitabh
Osama to Amitab : How are you?
Amitab : Bas Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam. Aap Kaise Hain?
Osama : Bas Kabhi Goli Kabhi Bomb
Amitab : Bas Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam. Aap Kaise Hain?
Osama : Bas Kabhi Goli Kabhi Bomb
Funny or Teasing.
A very confusing question whether its Funny or Teasing ?
I feel something which is said or done to provoke laughter or amusement is funny.
Something not said seriously, or not actually meant; something done in sport is funny.
If funny or teasing done in a good sense is is cool Humor.
I m just here to be funny and teasing in a good sense of Humor.
Have Fun ? and i will keep your life sunny with fun , after all Laughter is a BEST MEDICINE.
I feel something which is said or done to provoke laughter or amusement is funny.
Something not said seriously, or not actually meant; something done in sport is funny.
If funny or teasing done in a good sense is is cool Humor.
I m just here to be funny and teasing in a good sense of Humor.
Have Fun ? and i will keep your life sunny with fun , after all Laughter is a BEST MEDICINE.
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