Hooker !!!

A married couple are lying in bed together on the morning of their tenth anniversary when the wife says, “Darling, as this is such a special occasion I think that it is time I made a confession…. Before we were married I was a hooker for eight years.”

The husband ponders for a moment and then looks into his wife’s eyes and says, “My love, you have been a perfect wife for ten years, and I cannot hold your past against you. In fact maybe you could show me a few tricks of the trade and spice up our sex life a bit!”

She said, “I don’t think you understand, my name was Brian and I played rugby for Auckland Blues.”

Water the Plants...

Man told his servant: "Go and water the plants!"
Servant: "It's already raining."
Man : "So what? Take an umbrella and go."

Winning the Cup !!!

Man: Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Man - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

Bar and Cell Phone !!!

A man in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says "Hello, how did you know I was here?"

Parking Fine !!!!

A man comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine"
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole "Thanks for complement."

TV News

A man complained to the police: "Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house."
Police: "How the thief did not take TV?"
Man: "I was watching TV news..."

Oh God

Husband : People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife: How do you know??
Husband : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.

Dreams

Man: Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Man : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

Wise

The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.

Marry

Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.

Succesfull man

Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.