Letter is from Banta Singh of Punjab to Mr. Bill Gates of Microsoft
Subject: Problems with my new computer
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some
problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. There is a button 'start' but there is no 'stop' button. We request you to check this.
2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Amritsar ! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.
3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.
5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?
6. I brought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?
7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is noteven a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.
8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only..
9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?
10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God shake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife know where I go after my office hours.
Regards,
Banta
Sardar and Animals !!!!
TEACHAR : tell me 5 water animals.
SARDAR : fish
TEACHAR : good, next 4
SARDAR : fish da puttar, fish di kudi, fish da pra aur usdi MAA.......
SARDAR : fish
TEACHAR : good, next 4
SARDAR : fish da puttar, fish di kudi, fish da pra aur usdi MAA.......
Doctors and Patients !!
Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients they prefer.
Doctor Watson says, ''I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.''
Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ''I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.''
Doctor Ahn says, ''I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.''
Doctor Watson says, ''I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.''
Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ''I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.''
Doctor Ahn says, ''I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.''
More Definations
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death
Prayer is not a spare wheel that you pull out when YOU ARE IN TROUBLE
It is a steering wheel that keeps you on the right path throughout your life
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance....
Never believe what the lines of your hand predict about your future, because people who don't have hands also have a future... Believe in yourself
You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death
Prayer is not a spare wheel that you pull out when YOU ARE IN TROUBLE
It is a steering wheel that keeps you on the right path throughout your life
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we're here we should dance....
Never believe what the lines of your hand predict about your future, because people who don't have hands also have a future... Believe in yourself
You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing.
Definations
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Definations
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Definations
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Definations
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Compromise
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Lecture
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"
Marriage
Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Life Insurance
Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.
Glasses
Without u ,life is black and white
Without u ,the world is no hops no light
Without u t can't go left or right
Without u i lose my sight
Thank u my glasses
Without u ,the world is no hops no light
Without u t can't go left or right
Without u i lose my sight
Thank u my glasses
AnimalPlanet....
This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn't expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on your name and didn't even tell me?
Animal Planet!
Animal Planet!
Brain Transplant...
If I ever go for a brain transplant I'd like 2 use ur brain. It's not because u r a genius. I would only like a brain that has never been used.
How to ask your Boss for a salary increase?
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply:
Dear,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
The next day, the employee recieved this letter of reply:
Dear,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Einstein and Hitler !!!
Teacher:
U idiots! At Your Age, Einstein Ranked First in Class. What about You???
Student:
Sir, At Your Age, Hitler Committed Suicide..! What about You???
U idiots! At Your Age, Einstein Ranked First in Class. What about You???
Student:
Sir, At Your Age, Hitler Committed Suicide..! What about You???
Man and Beggar !!!
Once a man was waiting for a taxi.
A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.
Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.
The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.
The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health."
The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good".
The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver".
The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course.Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".
As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit."
Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".
The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad habits looks like ?"
A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.
Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.
The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.
The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health."
The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good".
The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver".
The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course.Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".
As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit."
Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".
The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad habits looks like ?"
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